Toddler Tales #3

Toddler Tales #3

Toddler Translations 101

LM: Ink.
Me: You want a drink?
LM: Ink.
Me: Ok. I’ll grab you a drink.

*LM tips head back*
*wails*
*gnashes teeth*

LM: INK!

*I pause*
*consider*
*eye the fridge*

Me: You want eggs?

*LM giggles*

LM: Eggs.

#clearly #nodictionaryforthis

Toddler Tales #2

Toddler Tales #2

LIFE WITH A TODDLER 101.

Me: LM, you want some of my eggs?
LM: No. Pancake.

*hands LM cut up pancake*

Me: Here’s your pancake.

*LM points*

LM: Pancake.
Me: Yep. Now eat it.
LM: Gabay.
Me: I already put agave on it.

*LM giggles*

LM: Gabay.

*I lift a forkful of scrambled eggs to my mouth*
*LM flails*
*pancake flies*

LM: No pancake! EGGS! NO NO NO NO PANCAKE.

*frantic pointing*
*hysterics*
*gnashing of teeth*

Me: Okay, calm down. Ask nicely and I’ll give you some eggs.

*rubs his belly*

LM: Peez Mama. Peez eggs.

*scoops eggs onto his plate*
*LM tilts his head back*
*wails*

LM: PANCAKE!

Introducing Toddler Tales

Introducing Toddler Tales

TODDLERS.

Am I right?

Facebook is a place for me to vent some steam as a parent. Most of the time, I just want to be heard. I just want people to see glimpses of my parent life and giggle with me. I find that laughing over the crazy things that happen (like my two-year-old groping my realtor) helps take the edge off and makes it less likely I’ll sob over my DP 10.

#justsayin

I share these moments most on my personal profile, but I think my blog audience needs this just as much as I do. #Iknowyoufeelme

So here you have it: Toddler Tales. I’m going to start sharing all the things that my toddler does for you to laugh over with me. The need for commiseration is real so please share yours in the comments!

PS— for those of you that don’t know, I refer to my two-year-old son as LM on social media.

 

Toddler Tale # 1

LM: Food?
Me: You want a snack?
LM: Nack
Me: You can have grapes.

*Pulls grapes out of the fridge*

LM: NO NOOOOOOOOO grapes!

*Ignore hysterical shrieking*
*sets grapes in a bowl*

LM: No grapes. No!

*sets bowl on the bench*

Me: You don’t have to eat them, but if you want a snack, here are your grapes.

*LM stalks over to grapes*
*jabs at them*

LM: No grapes. No grapes. No!

Me: If you hit the grapes, you will go into time out.

LM: No grapes! *reaches for grapes* No NO NO! *picks one out of bowl* No grapes! *eats grape* NO GRAPE *eats third grape* NO GRAPES! *Eats all the grapes*

#nohashtagforthis #youcantmakethisup